Retarded Nazi Marketing Skills - Australia Post style

Firstly FREE means without commitment, cost, obligation or ongoing contact.

 
I have a real problem with people and organisations who say, "Free download. Get your copy now." or "Free - participate in the Webinar (web based seminar)." - and then tie in loads of tricks and traps and mind fuck head games, to the word "Free".

As a for instance, "Down load your free copy of" (book / publication / etc), or the "Free Webinar" when done by an idiot (usually American) advertising company - on behalf of their idiot clients.

They don't have a "Click on this link to start your free download", or a pod casting link to view the webinar - at a time and place of your own choosing.... if the webinar happens to be in the USA - at 3am your own time.

So one clicks on the link in the email, and that opens to a webpage, and then this then ties into giving up the following usual sorts of information:

To get the FREE paper / or REGISTER for the FREE webinar give us your:

1. Name, address, email address, phone number, etc.

2. Company name, address etc.

3. Being signed up for other publications.

4. Consenting to them sharing your information around to their "affiliates" for other marketing purposes.

5. And, and, and.......


So I usually - well in the past I used to do a little bit of "consciousness raising" about the issue of the principle of "giving away for free" vs. their interpretation and following impositions of the word "free". 

I figured that since they were promoting their own angle, by giving away things to be helpful to people, or more often, as a way to bind "a prospective customer" who is expressing interest in the hardware, software, expertise or process etc., that the idea according to me, is to provide that - and then let the prospective customer, decide if the issue on offer, meets their needs.

I'd point this base level marketing fundamental out to them.

"You assist the customer to make the decision, and then IF they decide that they want to hire / buy from you, then your job is to make the sale".

I'd continue, "You do not however, do as you have done, which is to entangle and entrap the prospective customer in a tarpit of your mind fuck bullshit, and idiotic marketing department impositions."

And without exception, the reply would be some total fuckwit dismissal, that the response had nothing to do with the proposition, and the person rubber stamping the reply was a total fucking retard.

As I have gotten totally intolerant to "dumb fucks" - I'd then unsubscribe from their emails and any further contact with the organisation.


Firstly FREE means without commitment, cost, obligation or ongoing contact, AND I have NO TIME what so ever, for people that are that fucking dense (stupid) that they go way over the "obligation" line, or are too fucking stupid (dense) to "get it" that they are not "engaging WITH" the prospective customer, that they are in fact, "fucking with" the customer, and "IMPOSING UPON" the customer.

So I have taken to wiping the dumb fucks of marketing off the map......

I do not engage with them, I do not buy from them, I do not allow them to impose their bullshit on me....

It's a case of straight out, "Fuck off - and take your bullshit with you."


After not seeing a peep out of Australia Post in the news for ages, aside from Solomen Lew saying, Australia Post has sunk, and the Licensed Post Office Owners group essentially standing up to the management of Australia Post - telling them in essence, "Fuck you - we are not working twice as hard for half as much any longer" - in a moment of net cruising, I came across some more pretty shitty and inept "marketing for morons" customer engagement from the management of Australia Post.

The Fill In.

The title opens with "marketing corporate speak" which uses sort of weasel words instead of plain speak.

Then we get the beginning of the outright lying - where your OBLIGATGED to give up your personal information, in order to be "given" your "free" copy.

Because if you do not give us all this information about yourself, then we do not give the FREE report to you.

Of course, giving up your personal information, comes with mandatory fields that MUST be filled in, or we do not give the FREE report to you.

This is all nicely rounded off with the Nazi Marketing Dept's, legalese bullshit trip.

You see REAL smart marketing depts, OFFER a simple way for the customer to make further inquiries or sales etc.,  and the morons running Australia Post and it's bullshit trip of a marketing dept try on this:

They tell you that they are GATHERING your information, so THEY can contact you, about (them) managing your requirements. How does lying about the matter of "FREE" or without obligation or commitment, suddenly jump to them managing you and your business?

They they fortify their lying to you, by stating that unless you give up your personal information, in exchange for the FREE document, which then jumps to them arm twisting you into them interfering in your life and business, and then justifying this by saying they are unable to do this, unless you give up your information to them, which will enable them to do this with you....

Then they build up a surveillance dossier upon you and your business.

And then they tell you that they have the right to restrict what they provide to you, because they are legally allowed too do so.

The only way to obtain this information - restricted or not, is via a Freedom Of Information officer - in which dept? Australia Post.


So overall this is a fucking HUGE leap of lies, deceit, incompetence and bare faced convoluted bullshit, between the concept of "FREE" and what the management of Australia Post then arm twist and impose.

Then add on the really nasty and underhanded activities that the management of Australia Post have done to LOTS of other people, from poaching the local agencies customers, giving total bullshit service to lost and stolen parcels, along with their social media team deleting peoples comments off their face book page along with their never ending copy paste pointless bullshit replies etc., etc., etc., 

To have the management of Australia Post give away a rigged report, titled -  "Balance your multi-channel strategy and create connections that matter" - that is like the anti-christs guide to safe unprotected anal sex in the days of epidemic uncurable VD.....

Or what they say and what they do, comes with a huge neon sign that says, "Bullshit".

I guess overall, that this smacks of people that I'd rather not hire.....

Because life is too short for profoundly stupid shit.

The alternative to Australia Post and their bullshit:

Google: Multi Channel Marketing
About 32,200,000 results
(0.46 seconds)

So you - the management of Australia Post, along with your idiot legal and marketing departments - you can shove your FREE marketing for retards report, up your arses.


Because your "gift horse" is a "trojan horse" - and that is all there is to it.




http://pages.auspost-email.com.au/connectionsthatmatter

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